It's over.

Saturday, October 16, 2010, 12:09 AM

helpless

At times i feel so helpless, not knowing where to walk, who to turn to when i'm in need, who to call when i need a listening ear, where to go when i'm lost, who to ask when i'm not sure of something and when i need a shoulder to cry on. It's so easy to break a person's heart, but so hard to mend it back. It's so easy to do bad, but so hard to do good. It's so easy to make a flood, but it's so hard to stop it from flowing. It's so easy to take sides, but so hard to get out. It's easy to lose a friend, but so hard to get back one.

WHY?!!??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY?!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????
WHY??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel so helpess.....

charmaine

Saturday, October 9, 2010, 1:18 AM

i can't anymore

I can't hold the tears back anymore, so why do you keep forcing me to stop? My heart keeps on bleeding and the tears keeps on flowing untill it forms a river. My eyes are swollen, my heart is in pain, but do you care? You're tired, so am i! Now it's starting all over again. 23 days...do you know how much it hurts to have your best friend ignoring you for so many days, maybe you did talk to me for some days, but it just doesn't make sense. I want to see the sense in everything around me, but i just can't seem to put my mind to it. From the very start i just needed you to be there for me, okay, fine, you've been there for me, but at times when i really need you, where do you go? I want to let you go, but i just can't bring myself to. I don't know when all our problems will end, but i hope it will end soon. I'm tired of picking up where we left things, but do you see what i'm doing? Life is just pathetic, very pathetic.

I always thought that i found love and that will make me happy, but no. Love has its own risks. I'm willing to take them from you. I'm ready to carry everything for you, but will you do the same for me? When i look you in the eye, i see all sorts of things. My feelings are all mixed up. Maybe this is what love is-To complicate things for people, to bring trouble for me, to make life terrible for people, to break people up. I always thought that love was one of its kind and its the most beautiful thing on Earth that one can experience-maybe it is. But it's not what i think it should be. It's the opposite of what i thought it would be, but is this the best? I've never regretted loving you, i never thought it was a mistake, but why does it seem that everything gonna break apart? I want to know.

I've been searching for answers to my questions, but no. Untill now, life is just something that everybody have to live. We play with toys, we play with people's feelings and most of all, we play with their love. Maybe i've been blinded by love, but it's so sweet to be in love. The feeling is so wonderful.

I love you! :)
charmaine

Friday, October 1, 2010, 7:59 PM

i'm willing

Suddenly She's Leaving

Suddenly That Promise Of Love Has Gone

Suddenly Breathing Seems so Hard To Do

I Can't Believe You Planned It

I Got To Know Just A Minute Too Late

Oh Girl Now I Understand It

All The Times We Made Love Together

Baby, You Were Thinking Of Him

Why Do I Love You

Don't Even Want To

Why Do I Love You

Like I Do, like I Always Do

You Should've Told Me

Why Did You Have To Be Untrue

Why Do I Love You

Like I Do

Aint Gonna Show No Weakness

I'm Gonna Smile And Tell The Whole World I'm FineI

'm Gonna Keep My 10 Sence

But Deep Down

Where No One Can Hear Me

Baby I'll Be Crying For You

Why Do I Love You

Don't Even Want To

Why Do I Love You

Like I Do, Like I Always Do

You Should Of Told Me

Why Did You Have To Be Untrue

Why Do I Love You Like I Do

Can't Go Back

Can't Erase

Baby Your Smiling Face

Oh No

I Can't Think Of Nothing Else But You

Suddenly

Why Do I Love You

Don't Even Want To

Why Do I Love You

Like I Do, Like I always Do

You Should Of Told Me

Why Did You Have To Be Untrue

Why Do I Love You

Don't Even Want To

Why Do I Love You

Like I Do, Like I Always Do

You Should Of Told Me

Why Did You Have To Be Untrue

Why Do I Love You

Like I Do

Go to youtube and listen to this song "Why do i love you?"

Monday, September 6, 2010, 1:32 AM

not only you!

You say they are neglecting you by hanging out with me, fine! Sure! I won't hang out with them anymore! They can be with you for as long as you want! You never think about me! Lip words won't help! It never will! You can have them back! Go back to your normal life, ok?! Happy?! I don't even know whats going on anymore!!! Yes, I know i'm gullible, but i know whats going on around me, ok?! Yes, they care about me, but they care about you too!! Thats what friends are for! To love and care for their friends!! Thats what they are showing me! They are still your friends! They are still the people you knew from the start! If they don't treat you as a friend, why would they bother talking to you?! You are telling people things behind my back hoping that i won't find out and that it won't hurt, but it will. IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN THIS WAY!! They are my friends and they are yours too!! You're not the only one who needs friends! You have more than enough! I don't know whats going on anymore!!

This world doesn't consist of only you!! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS THINK OF YOURSELF ONLY?!! YOU SAY THAT YOU WILL NEVER WANT TO HURT ME, BUT YOU'RE DOING IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!! YOU'RE STABBING ME WITH A KNIFE OVER AND OVER AGAIN?! HOW CAN I BE BRAVE ENOUGH TO FACE THE WORLD?! YOU SAY YOU MEAN EVERY WORD YOU SAY TO ME, BUT I CAN TELL THAT YOU DON'T!!!!!!!!!!! I KNOW I'M USELESS, I'M NOT AS SMART AS YOU, BUT I'M STILL A HUMAN AND HUMANS HAVE FEELINGS!!! I KNOW I'M A FAILURE, I'M NOT AS GOOD AS YOU!!! I KNOW I'M JUST EVERY WORD YOU CAN DESCRIBE, BUT I'M STILL ME!!!!!!!!

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

charmaine

Sunday, August 29, 2010, 12:15 AM

llallala

Oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh oh-oh oh oh

Oh-oh-oh oh yeah

Remember when I said I won't miss you?

The truth is that I doI never stop thinkin' about you (about you)

We are meant together

The two of us abound

Now it seems like forever I can't get you off my mind

If I could wish upon a star

Then I would hold you in my arms (in my arms)

And I know we could love once again (we could love again)

If I could turn the hands of time

Then you would love me still be mine (mine)

Baby I would be right where you are (where you are)

If I could wish upon a star

It’s obvious and everyone can see

That baby you and I are truly meant to be

But nothing turns out right (nothing turns out right)

If only I could make you realize

If only time could (give us just another chance)

I'd prove it all to you

If I could wish upon a star

If I could turn the hands of time

Then I’d be in your arms again

If I could wish upon a star

Then I would hold you in my arms (in my arms)

And I know we could love once again (we could love again)

If I could turn the hands of time

Then you would love me still be mine (mine)

Baby I would be right where you are (where you are)

If I could wish upon a star

If I could wish upon a star.

Go to YOUTUBE and listen to this song!! Another dedication...

charmaine

Wednesday, August 25, 2010, 6:22 AM

love is all i want

All i need is your love, is it so hard to give? Though i've never gotten the love i want, the friendship i want, but i know that my love for you will never change. There is nothing i can do! It's hard to let you go, i want to give you back your happiness but i don't think i can ever let go. When people ask me to let, i'll feel more stressed up! Because i cna never let you go, i know that very well. I'm too deeply in love with you! There is really nothing that i can do to change the fact about this!

Can you just let me love you?
Can you just let me stay by you?
Can you just let me enjoy my last year?
Can you just let me love you more than anyone else?

I really love you, and everybody knows! Everybody has been helping me, but i don't know what to do, it's all so complicated. When i'm with you, i feel so relaxed, it's like the whole world is willing to listen to me for once. When you're gone, the world seems to be out to get me, to see me fall down and tremble. The whole world seems to be changing every minute. It will just go off in a blink of an eye! It will just go off very fast, every single minute doesn't seem to be able to wait for me, i want to catch up with you. I'll do anything to make you happy again! Just tell me.

charmaine isdeeplyinlove

Thursday, August 19, 2010, 3:42 AM

turning back

Can life change for us?
Can i have a second chance?
Can i be who i am again?
Why can't life just be fair?
Why can't i ever have a second chance?
Why can't i just be who i am?
Why are there so many things that get in our way?
Why can't these things so away and clear the path for me?
Why can't all these just go away??

I want to let go! I want to let her free! I want to give her happiness! I want to give her everything! I really want to give her what i can. But can i?!! I can't even give myself all these!! Why am i thinking so far!!?? I really want to know! I really want to know why i'm becoming like this! Can somebody please tell me?

It hurts to hear you cry.
It hurts to hear you lie.
It hurts to see you shed blood.
It hurts to see you so sad!
It hurts just to be me!

I want you, i really want you! I really miss you! Yoke say, i realy need you at this point of time! I really need you! Can you please don't leave me? Please?! Take it as i'm begging you!! Yoke say, please, stay with me. I really can't afford to lose you again! I really can't! You know how much you mean to me, you know how much i love you!! Please! I really really really love you!!!!!!!!!!

You can change, because i know you'll still be you.
You can be anything, because i know that i'll still love you.
You can be with anyone, because i know that i won't mind.
You can be who you really are, because all i know is that, i'll love you forever!!

You can just watch me burn, because i won't care.
You can just turn your back on me, because i don't know what else i can do.
You can just walk off without me, because you have done that more than once.
You can just move along, because you have always been faster.
You can just be who you are, because i'll still love you no matter what!

I'll write you name wherever i go!
I'll carry your name wherever i go!
I'll make your name known to the world!
I'll never let go, till the day you want me to.
I'll love you all the way!!

Yoke say, I really really really do love you!!!!!!!!! Please, don't leave me! This is the time where i really need you!!!!!!

charmaine