i can't anymore

I can't hold the tears back anymore, so why do you keep forcing me to stop? My heart keeps on bleeding and the tears keeps on flowing untill it forms a river. My eyes are swollen, my heart is in pain, but do you care? You're tired, so am i! Now it's starting all over again. 23 days...do you know how much it hurts to have your best friend ignoring you for so many days, maybe you did talk to me for some days, but it just doesn't make sense. I want to see the sense in everything around me, but i just can't seem to put my mind to it. From the very start i just needed you to be there for me, okay, fine, you've been there for me, but at times when i really need you, where do you go? I want to let you go, but i just can't bring myself to. I don't know when all our problems will end, but i hope it will end soon. I'm tired of picking up where we left things, but do you see what i'm doing? Life is just pathetic, very pathetic.

I always thought that i found love and that will make me happy, but no. Love has its own risks. I'm willing to take them from you. I'm ready to carry everything for you, but will you do the same for me? When i look you in the eye, i see all sorts of things. My feelings are all mixed up. Maybe this is what love is-To complicate things for people, to bring trouble for me, to make life terrible for people, to break people up. I always thought that love was one of its kind and its the most beautiful thing on Earth that one can experience-maybe it is. But it's not what i think it should be. It's the opposite of what i thought it would be, but is this the best? I've never regretted loving you, i never thought it was a mistake, but why does it seem that everything gonna break apart? I want to know.

I've been searching for answers to my questions, but no. Untill now, life is just something that everybody have to live. We play with toys, we play with people's feelings and most of all, we play with their love. Maybe i've been blinded by love, but it's so sweet to be in love. The feeling is so wonderful.

I love you! :)
charmaine